Understanding the Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn response

You may have heard about the ‘fight or flight’ reaction, but in reality this instinctive internal alarm response actually comes in not just two, but four distinct variations: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. Each one is a survival strategy hardwired into us, passed down through generations of ancestors who learned what it took to stay alive in a dangerous world.

Let’s take a closer look at how this ancient alarm system works — and how it still shows up in our modern lives.

The Four Fs of Survival

Fight: Standing Your Ground

When a threat feels conquerable, our brain might cue us to fight. This response floods the body with adrenaline and cortisol, sharpening our senses and boosting strength. It’s not always literal combat — modern ‘fights’ can look like arguing back in a meeting, setting boundaries in a relationship or resisting unfair treatment. While fight mode can be empowering, it can also lead to aggression if not managed consciously.

Flight: Escaping Danger

When facing a threat too big to challenge, the body may shift to escape mode. Flight is about putting distance between you and danger. Today, this might show up as quitting a stressful job, avoiding conflict, or leaving a toxic situation. The urge to run can be a lifesaver, but chronic avoidance can prevent growth and healing.

Freeze: Playing Dead

Sometimes the best chance of survival is to do nothing. Animals freeze to avoid detection. Humans do too — especially when danger feels overwhelming. This can feel like brain fog, numbness, or being ‘stuck.’ In modern life, freeze might show up as procrastination, dissociation, or feeling paralysed by fear. While it can provide temporary safety, staying frozen too long can block us from taking helpful action.

Fawn: Appeasing the Threat

Fawning is a lesser-known but equally powerful response, especially in situations where fighting or fleeing isn’t an option. It involves people-pleasing, appeasing, or complying to stay safe. This might look like agreeing to things you don’t want to do, over-apologising or losing your own needs in an attempt to avoid conflict. Often rooted in childhood or trauma, the fawn response can keep people trapped in unhealthy relationships or patterns.

Why It Matters Today

Your brain can’t always tell the difference between a bear in the woods and a stressful email from your boss. That’s the paradox of our nervous system — it’s ancient hardware trying to run modern software. And while these responses are natural, they aren’t always helpful in a world where danger is often emotional, social, or psychological rather than physical.

Understanding your stress response can help you spot patterns in your behaviour. Do you shut down under pressure? Feel like you’re always walking on eggshells? Lash out when threatened? These might be signs that your nervous system is trying to protect you — even if it’s using outdated methods.

From Survival to Healing

You don’t have to be at the mercy of your ancient alarm system. With self-awareness and the right support — like therapy, mindfulness or somatic practices such as breathwork or EFT — you can learn to regulate your nervous system and respond to stress more consciously. Recognising when you’re in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode is the first step in reclaiming your sense of safety and agency. Because while this system was built to help you survive - you deserve to thrive!

Book your free Discovery Session with me and begin your journey to understanding and changing your body's response to anxiety and stress.