Are you ready for change?


How do you know if you're ready to commit to making a change through therapy?


It can be a big decision to make. The thought of opening up to a complete stranger about the things that are troubling you may be daunting. You will be investing not just your money but your trust in this person.

I have noticed that there are three qualities that my most successful clients have in common.


Firstly, they know that something has to change. The old coping strategies that they employed to get them through are no longer working, and they are at rock bottom. They have nothing left to lose.


Secondly, they know that the thing that needs to change is them. They are ready to take personal responsibility for improving their life, because they know that nobody else is going to do it for them. They accept that they can no longer blame others for the way they are feeling, or expect the people around them to change.


And thirdly, they know that the change has to come now. Putting it off any longer is simply not an option. Some people know they need to change, but are not quite ready to make that commitment to themselves.


Lasting and effective change can only happen when all three of these conditions are met.


It is my job to ensure that everyone who walks through my door is as ready for change as they possibly can be. If they aren't one hundred per cent committed there's a good chance they will be wasting their time and their money. For instance, somebody whose partner has told them they should stop smoking, is unlikely to change unless they really want it for themself, too. I will only work with people who I know are ready.


Sometimes it is possible for me to help someone decide if they are ready to make a change. I do this through questioning designed to make the person vividly imagine what their future life will be like, both with and without this change taking place. You can try this exercise for yourself:

What is it that needs to change in my life?

What is holding me back?

If I don't make this change, what will happen?

How will the people I love be affected if I don't change?

How amazing will my life be when I have changed?

What will I be able to do that I can't now?

How will I feel and look?

What is the next step I need to take, if anything?


The decision to change is yours to make entirely, but only when you are ready. And when you are ready, I am here for you, to help you create the life you really want for yourself.


This article was first published in the New Stour & Avon magazine on Friday 25 February 2022




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