Help with repressed emotions

When we become aware of uncomfortable feelings our first instinct is usually to 'suppress' or push them away consciously - we want them gone as quickly as possible. Sometimes that's fine to do - it allows us to refocus on a more helpful thought, generate a more comfortable feeling within our body and focus on whatever the job is in hand. Then later on in the day, when the time is right, we can address the feeling properly. Perhaps we offload to a friend or partner, take advice or meditate.

While suppressing an emotion is a conscious action, repressed emotions are ones that you unconsciously avoid - these don't get the chance to be processed and can show up in our lives as all sorts of physical or mental symptoms. The act of repressing emotions oftens develops in childhood - for instance if we were never encouraged to talk about our feelings, if we were made to feel ashamed for having emotions or if our feelings were never validated by by our caregivers we might begin to 'stuff down' our feelings. Over time this becomes a default, automatic response which carries through into adulthood.

As a long-term coping mechanism, supressing our feelings is rarely helpful, and labelling our emotions as 'good' or 'bad' can also be counterproductive.

ALL our emotions are valid and useful to us in some way - they are all trying to tell us something. So it's important that we give ourselves time to fully feel each and every emotion and to recognise how they affect us mentally and physically.

So how do you know if you are experiencing emotional repression? A few indicators could be:

Feeling detached or 'numb'
Feeling uncomfortable when discussing your emotions or those of other people
Feeling irritated by displays of emotion from others
You may feel on edge or stressed and not know why
Or you may even be completely calm and chilled all the time because you never allow yourself to dwell on a thought or examine your feelings

Repressed emotions can cause all sorts of trouble in our lives, affecting our ability to:

Form close relationships with friends or partners
Talk about things that are important to us or voice our opinions
Give ourselves praise or acceot it from others
Understand other people's emotions
Live without the support of things that help us avoid the feelings we don't want to acknowledge, such as alcohol, drugs, food or social media.

What can you do to help with repressed emotions?

Working with a therapist like me can help you become more comfortable with your emotions, leading to a happier, healthier life. Over the coming weeks I'll be talking about some of the ways you can do this.

If you've seen the movie Inside Out 2, this image perfectly conveys what happens when we 'bottle up' or repress our feelings!